November of '86

This one time, my 4th grade teacher, Ms. Carrie, tried to get me suspended for sucking 6th grade cock in the boy's room. I sold her phone number for $30 to a couple of Brazillians: El Gordo and Pepe the Hatchet Man. That was on a Tuesday in November of '86. No one's heard from Ms. Carrie since, but every once in a while I'll download something gruesome off of the internet involving some toothless whore without a nose doing unspeakable things to filthy South Americans, and I can catch a glimpse in her eye. A glimpse that reminds me of a pretty young woman who tried to teach me my multiplication tables. And then I laugh and I laugh... 

-by bigsleep666

Johnny

I met Johnny, a prison guard, the first week I was here, and knew I could have my way with him. Since I sure as fuck wasn't gonna get out of the joint anytime soon, I thought I might as well make the most of it. Lucky for me, I picked the one prick who knew how to properly use that beat stick of his.

Dirty Sanchez

Sometimes, when I get bored, I make my bitches fight. I would strap collars around their necks, dump the two of them in a hole, pour pigs blood on them, hurl a fistfull of hamburger at them, and then just start collecting bets from the other inmates. For a while Officer Peterson was the top-ranked bitch in my pen, until Juana Sanchez get sent here for grand theft auto. Damn, that Dirty Sanchez never fucked around and just got a grip on any orifice she could inside of fifteen seconds! I got one word for that girl: Ka-Ching!!

-by bigsleep666

26-year-old Billy

When I was 12, my 26-year-old boyfriend Billy wanted to date girls his own age, so he dumped me. I started to cry. And that was the last time I ever cried. I got so mad at myself fer crying, I burned out my tear ducts with my cigarette and then hunted down Billy fer makin' me cry. I found him picking up his new bitch girlfriend from her job at the strip club and stomped his ass into a coma in front of her. I looked her in the eye as I pissed on him and told her to stay the fuck away from him. After I marked him as my territory, I biked on home.

-by bigsleep666

Reform School Jill

The chronicles begin now.